Funeral Etiquette

Funeral Etiquette

Many of us are unsure about what encouraging words to say to the family or how to interact and respond to their feelings of sorrow. Knowing a few funeral etiquette rules can help anyone be more comfortable in both a funeral and visitation setting.

When Should I Visit?

When you learn that someone has passed away, it’s natural to want to reach out and offer comfort. Visiting the family at their home can be appropriate, but the funeral home is often the best place to see the family, share condolences, and offer your support in person.



If you wish to visit before the service, small acts of kindness can mean a great deal. Offering to bring a meal, help with household needs, assist with childcare, or run an errand can provide genuine relief to a grieving family. Even a simple visit to listen or share a memory can bring comfort during a difficult time.

What Should I Say?

Many people worry about finding the right words when offering condolences. The truth is, there are no perfect words that can take away someone’s grief, but a few kind and sincere words can mean a great deal. Simply letting the family know you care is what matters most.



You might say something like, “I’m so sorry for your loss.” or “Your loved one will be deeply missed.” Avoid discussing personal grievances or trying to explain the loss by saying the person is “in a better place.” Often, quiet compassion and presence speak louder than anything you could say.

Where Should I Sit?

It’s common to feel unsure about where to sit during a funeral or visitation. Typically, the first few rows are reserved for immediate and extended family members. If you’re not part of the family, choosing a seat a few rows behind the reserved section is perfectly appropriate.



If you’re ever uncertain, don’t hesitate to quietly ask a funeral home staff member for guidance — we’re always here to help. Most importantly, your presence and support mean more to the family than where you sit.

What Should I Do?

Arriving on time is a thoughtful way to show respect for the family and their loved one. When entering the funeral home or service location, do so quietly and with reverence. If you’re attending a visitation, take a moment to greet the family and offer your condolences before finding a seat.



During the service, it’s best to silence your phone and avoid texting or taking calls. If something urgent arises, please step outside or into another room to handle it privately. Small gestures of respect help create a peaceful environment for everyone gathered to remember and honor the life that’s been lost.

What Should I Do About Children?

There’s no single right answer to whether a child should attend a visitation or funeral service. Every child and every situation is different. Much depends on the child’s relationship with the person who has passed away, their age, and how they typically respond in emotional situations.

If you decide to bring your child, take a moment beforehand to explain what will happen during the service and what they might see or hear. Let them know that it’s okay to feel sad, to ask questions, or to simply sit quietly. Preparing them gently can help them feel more comfortable and secure during the experience.



If you feel your child may struggle with the emotions of the day, it’s also perfectly fine to make other arrangements. What matters most is helping your child feel supported and loved as they learn to understand loss in their own way.

What Should I Give?

Sending flowers to the funeral home or family is a thoughtful and traditional way to express sympathy. Flowers can offer comfort and beauty during a difficult time. In some cases, the family may request that donations be made to a specific charity or organization in lieu of flowers, and those wishes should always be respected.



Other simple gestures can also mean a great deal — bringing a meal, helping with household needs, or offering a kind note of support. A sympathy card, sent at any time, is a heartfelt way to let the family know you’re thinking of them. There’s no deadline for kindness; your thoughtfulness will always be appreciated.